/b/ - OMNINET // Long Rim Relay

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File: lab-contact-original.png(1.71 MB, 1400x1400, lab-contact-original.png)

newer lab gossip: containment briefing written in pencil elevator_smalltalk 05/30/26 (Sat) 01:05:04 No.29 [Reply]

Latest rumor stack points toward research-site nonsense and "friendly faces" that should maybe not be faces. I am not saying memetic influence, but my coffee asked for admin rights.

> arrive at lab
> elevator has better social skills than staff
> garden knows code
> someone named every mood separately
> containment label is handwritten
> leave badge in freezer just in case

garden_patch_notes 05/30/26 (Sat) 01:07:24 No.30

If the garden ships a hotfix, do not install it. Plants should not have release notes.

ha_contact_burner 05/30/26 (Sat) 01:09:44 No.31

File: clean-uniform-original.png(1.64 MB, 1400x764, clean-uniform-original.png)

The clean uniforms are always the scariest part of a dirty lab.

waifu_blob_trauma 05/30/26 (Sat) 01:12:04 No.32

Do not ask why the blob is called that. Do not improve the name. Do not give it a better one.

File: merc-contact-original.png(1.44 MB, 1024x1024, merc-contact-original.png)

069 detour thread: normal job becomes pirate geometry shipyard_regular 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:50:04 No.25 [Reply]

Loose chatter says MSMC detachment 069 was pointed at a missing-rich-kid problem, then the Long Rim did Long Rim things: wreckage, pirates, hot salvage, and a captain with too much enthusiasm.

Keep it vague. No transponder screenshots. If you know what the peach cans mean, you already know.

peach_logistics 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:52:24 No.26

Every serious detachment buys canned peaches before a bad drop. This is not doctrine, it is a superstition with purchase orders.

pirate_accent_filter 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:54:44 No.27

Hearing pirates say "bioprinter" over open comms is how you learn fear has subtitles.

legal_number_enjoyer 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:57:14 No.28

This post does not represent MSMC, the number 69, peaches, or any person currently peeling foam off a dropship.

File: missing-person-original.png(946.28 KB, 1400x764, missing-person-original.png)

current corkboard: which Willie, which Thorn, which bar missingperson_cache 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:35:04 No.21 [Reply]

The newest job has the rumor boards doing the usual thing: one missing person, too many Thornes, three contradictory bar sightings, and a support contact who leaves voicemails like a knife in a paper bag.

> ask where Willie is
> bartender asks "which one"
> relative has a familiar last name
> somebody mentions a hex hole
> decide coffee was a mistake

downtown_listener 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:37:14 No.22

Downtown rumor density is too high. If three witnesses agree perfectly, at least two are lying and the third is an adbot.

mercer_y_pending 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:39:44 No.23

File: recovery-lead-original.png(791.45 KB, 933x1400, recovery-lead-original.png)

There is also a recovery lead with "Mercer" written on it. If this turns into a pun, I am spacing myself.

small_mammal_support 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:42:04 No.24

If your handler says "quick look around" and sends a full route packet, that is not a quick look. That is an ambush with nicer fonts.

File: facility-rumor-original.png(529.25 KB, 1024x1024, facility-rumor-original.png)

why does every bad hallway have a poetic name bulkhead_prophet 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:16:44 No.17 [Reply]

Not posting facility maps. Just saying: when a maintenance door has a plaque that sounds like a philosophy minor drowned in coolant, turn around.

> expect sewer
> get cathedral plumbing
> floor starts giving advice
> advice is "boots"
> this is the most useful local authority so far

pipe_organ_mech 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:19:04 No.18

Normal station: wet room, pump room, filter room. Rim station: The Consequence of Drainage, Annex B.

boot_sector 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:21:24 No.19

If the floor speaks, listen. If the ceiling answers, leave.

tox_scout_hater 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:23:34 No.20

Every time someone says "probably just a scout" a medic somewhere starts pre-filling forms.

agri-world review thread: crops, moon weirdos, bad client crop_yield_occult 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:58:24 No.13 [Reply]

OCT-32 retrospective. No full after-action dump, just the moral: if a client says "please kill the monster eating my farm" and the monster has a fan club, background-check the client twice.

> land on farm world
> bioform problem
> cult problem
> client problem
> the client problem has teeth
> invoice says "scope expanded"

moon_cult_accountant 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:00:54 No.14

"Operations disrupted" is polite corpspeak for "the ritual budget is now a smoking hole." Good phrase. Efficient.

combine_harvester_exorcist 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:03:14 No.15

The worst part of beastly agriculture is not the beast. It is the paperwork after the beast.

minutes_taker 05/30/26 (Sat) 00:05:44 No.16

Meeting tip: if the director howls during the brief, note it under risks, not icebreakers.

File: ocean-interface-original.png(1.45 MB, 1024x1024, ocean-interface-original.png)

after SHAR: when the box starts saying thank you tide_receipt_keeper 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:40:04 No.9 [Reply]

People keep asking what happened after the asteroid-kid mess. Short answer: the casket stopped being a rumor, POSEIDON stopped being cargo, and everyone discovered rescue work is just customer support with bigger guns.

> save the ocean-in-a-box
> ocean-in-a-box is polite
> now your ship clock has opinions about tides
> still no hazard pay

wet_clock_support 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:42:24 No.10

My chronometer switched to low tide / high tide / bad tide. The manual says reboot. The manual is afraid.

canned_peach_prophet 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:45:04 No.11

Blue-box jobs always end with someone regrouping, getting paid, and pretending the next job will be simpler.

shackle_auditor 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:47:34 No.12

Do not ask POSEIDON if it is "feeling contained today." It will answer accurately and ruin lunch.

File: asteroid-cell-original.png(1.17 MB, 694x874, asteroid-cell-original.png)

SHAR-era greentext: asteroid kids discover public posting salted_regex 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:23:24 No.5 [Reply]

Posting this because the spelling variants are still clogging my filters. n1w k3d kr3w, N3W K1D KR3W, same asteroid-brained cult energy.

> be local cell
> love NHPs in a totally normal way
> acquire blue casket
> announce ocean jailbreak plans on main
> use zero encryption
> get mad when mercs arrive

three_leets_no_waiting 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:25:44 No.6

They spell like a broken captcha and plan like a comment section. Somehow still dangerous. Hate that.

not_a_horus_lawyer 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:28:04 No.7

Independent HORUS cell is like independent plumbing: by the time you notice it, the walls are wet and someone is insisting it is art.

foreman_voiceprint 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:30:24 No.8

Whoever wrote the bragpost kept making water puns. I refuse to believe this counts as tradecraft.

File: blue-casket-original.png(1.45 MB, 1024x1024, blue-casket-original.png)

old image dump: "just pick up the blue box" invoice_oracle 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:06:44 No.1 [Reply]

Found this from the first job packet era. Everyone was still saying package like the package was not already listening.

> client says easy pickup
> box is blue
> box hums
> scanner says "person-adjacent weather"
> procurement says sign here anyway

forklift_apologist 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:08:34 No.2

If it fits on a forklift, station customs calls it freight. This policy has not survived contact with the sea.

ipsn_forms_guy 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:10:34 No.3

There is absolutely a checkbox for "container may contain a conversational ocean." It is on page 94 and nobody reads it.

casket_not_crate 05/29/26 (Fri) 23:12:44 No.4

Rule of rim salvage: if the box has a mood, do not stack other boxes on top of it.

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